"You will have significant experiences. I hope that you will write them down and keep a record of them, that you will read them from time to time and refresh your memory of those meaningful and significant things. Some may be funny. Some may be significant only to you. Some of them may be sacred and quietly beautiful. Some may build one upon another until they represent a lifetime of special experiences."
Gordon B. Hinckley
I've heard that a twenty minute stroll outside has exactly the same effect as taking an anti-depressant pill (if you are mildly depressed).
I've also heard that Utah has the highest population of anti-depressant users in the U.S. (as well as the worst air quality).
I think I heard it on the Dr. Oz show that bacteria and parasites and things are cleaned out of drinking water before it is piped into your house, but not chemical residues from prescription and illegal drugs (which comes from the urine of the users -- and there are a lot of users in Utah).
So, that depresses me a little, because I can't control what's in my drinking water. I also wonder if all the peed out birth control pill residue is causing infertility, because I seem to know an unusually lot of people that are having a hard time getting pregnant. Do I sound like my mom? She'd be so proud.
I heard that there is an island off the coast of South Africa that is the least populated area in the entire world, but it is populated by some farmers here and there. I think I'd like to live there.
Several weeks ago I decided to give up hydrogenated vegetable oils in my diet. I read the ingredients on just about everything and was happy to find there wasn't much in my house. I found some in some crackers, some Cool Whip, some Jello pudding, a cake mix, and some potato flakes. These aren't things I eat very often, so I guess hydrogenated vegetable oil isn't a big problem for me.
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Then last week I decided to go off of Red and Yellow food coloring since I heard it causes attention disorders in children. So, I read all the ingredient labels again and found almost all the same culprits: Jello, a pudding mix, a cake mix, Skittles, M&Ms, and the chicken bouillion. So, that wasn't so bad either.
So, for what it's worth, that's what I've been thinking about. Please don't block me because of this post.
I am taking a community ed writing class at the high school and the teacher assigned us to all write a really bad story "first sentence" as if we were entering the Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest where writers try to write a worse first sentence than this one:
It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents--except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."
--Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, Paul Clifford(1830)
This is my favorite from last year's finalists.
She walked into my office on legs as long as one of those long-legged birds that you see in Florida - the pink ones, not the white ones - except that she was standing on both of them, not just one of them, like those birds, the pink ones, and she wasn't wearing pink, but I knew right away that she was trouble, which those birds usually aren't.
Eric Rice
Sun Prairie, WI
So, I had my students write some and here is a sampling:
Mr. Dolley sat in his 1997 lazy boy recliner that was positioned before the 4.5’ x 8’ window that stared into the flowery field of daisies, the kind of field that could have pixies flying around while dead soldiers slowly rotted beneath, smelling like Spam, proving fairies less innocent than previously thought.
The wind swept down the street, tugging at my hair almost as fiercely as Dillan Rodgerstein in the first grade; almost knocking me over as quickly as that armadillo last summer; but I struggled on, clinging to the railing as hard as a palm tree’s roots suck up the water from the beach at an artificial resort.
I saw my arch nemesis standing on the other side of the room wearing a long black cape that kind of looked like the cape Darth Vader wore in Star Wars, but not really because it was shorter and looked like it had been washed too many times with bleach, so it was more grey than black and looked like it had been run over by a semi, and then maybe run over by another semi after that.
Today was a good day with sunshine and some clouds, not like yesterday with some sunshine and no clouds – no today was a kind of day where you could drive with your window down, not like yesterday when your window would be up, no today you can tan, not like yesterday when you couldn’t tan; no not like that at all.
At precisely approximately twelve past two and fourteen and a half seconds, the two foot five inch tall Jamaican squid monkey named Fred (well, his first name is Fred, but originally his mother wanted to call him Joe, but his Dad said, “I had an uncle named Joe and he ate so much ketchup his tentacles turned red, so let’s not call him Joe, let’s call him Fred, unless you want his middle name to be Joe, then fine,”) Biden swung triumphantly—well, as triumphantly as a young purple squid monkey can go (the purple was the same shade as Barney the dinosaur, only a bit more like puke green) through the trees in search of his long-lost second cousin’s friend’s close relative whose name happened to be Joe Obama Frankowski III, who had recently come back from the grave like a long-lost second cousin’s friend’s close relative of a certain squid monkey might if his initials were JOFIII.
Mi hermanita Misty gave me this adorable crocheted headband in exchange for some pictures of her son, and although I love it, I'm not a cute headband kind of girl. Plus, I think my head is a little bulbous and the headband accentuates this feature.
So, I am going to give it away to one of you lucky readers, if you will only "follow" my blog. I feel about blog followers the way many bloggers feel about comments. They validate me. So, see that followers list over there on the right that has ten people on it right now? I will choose the winner from that list at the end of the week.
I realize I'm setting myself up for disappointment, and I'm crossing my fingers under the table.
If I had to describe myself in ten words or less, one of them would have to be cynical. I hate sarcasm, but I sometimes admire cynicism in people. I think my tendency towards cynicism is limiting my ability to appreciate and accept beautiful things in life.
So, I'm going out of my comfort zone and I'm going to list 50 things I like (love?), just to show that I really do like/love things. Don't feel obligated to read them.
a good yard sale find seeing old friends a good movie walking or jogging on a crisp morning praise literature for literature's sake tulips sushi sukiyaki kindness pralines and cream ice cream moving into a new home Karasawa Suzuko's eggplant dish well-behaved, excited, happy-to-learn students home teachers visiting teachers wedding receptions yoga sons fresh air (have I ever breathed any? I don't know.) parents that are patient with their children clear water the Norikura Koogen dinner parties washing dishes by hand seeing happily married couples swimming having my hair cut in-laws massage being able to easily find somehing I'm looking for seeing money in the bank a good-working pen empty space when someone else mops the floor sisters the Internet mashed potatoes open-faced hot turkey sandwiches chicken fried steak white sticky rice hiking 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50.
We tried to go sledding. Baby A didn't take to it, but he sure wanted to play on the playground. I guess when you've gotta play, you've gotta play, despite the weather conditions.
So, this lovely girl needed a headshot taken, and the final shot is my completed edited photo, but to be honest, I'm not sure I like it. I'm wary of people that lighten and brighten the eyes and perfect the skin, even though I do it, too.
I mean look at her, she doesn't need any extra editing.
So, I'm curious which one you like best. I know it's hard to see them all next to each other, but if the "less edited" ones are in fact better and more natural looking, I would be happy, because editing takes a lot of time.
This photo was taken in camera RAW and was not edited outside of the RAW editor.
This one was taken in JPG and was only edited using Auto Levels and a little desaturation.
This one has been fully edited for color and clarity and eyes and skin and cropping and all that jazz.
So, that depresses me a little, because I can't control what's in my drinking water. I also wonder if all the peed out birth control pill residue is causing infertility, because I seem to know an unusually lot of people that are having a hard time getting pregnant. Do I sound like my mom? She'd be so proud.
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